Sunday, May 24, 2009

so much for optimist...

My guitar leans rested against it's amp to my right, while to the left the keyboard that I frequently borrow from mom rests across my bed. I'm a failure. A complete uncreative failure. The floor is a nice place to lie down... since heat rises, it's about the coolest place in my room right now. It's one of the hottest days we've had so far this year, I've been dying to run through a sprinkler all afternoon. So far that's not happening, though the tears running out of the corners of my eyes feel rather nice, leaving a cool trail as they trickle into my ears, while I lay on my back staring up at the rotating ceiling fan. Great frustration builds up inside me, willing more cooling tears to stream down the side of my head. Why can't I do this?? I'm pathetic. I have the lyrics, very well the greatest lyrics I've ever written. I have the metronome, holding the perfect beat to my song. But I have no music. Try as I might I just can't get it. Tune after tune I attempt on the keyboard, but nothing really works. I just CAN'T do this. ARRGH! Every song I have ever attempted to write has failed. Every single one. I can't let this one die too...

*slams face on keyboard*

Maybe some things weren't meant to be.

5 comments:

Bo said...

seconded.













but this is where you go on anyway. so get your guitar, and get your lazy butt back to work!!!


Hahahaha.

Sarah said...

lol thanks Bo... I spose I needed to hear that one. I'm thinking about seeing if my friend Karen (who plays piano) would want to try and start a band with me. It would be so much easier if I could have somebody to do the music with cause then we could give eachother ideas and I wouldn't have to play all the instruments in my songs.

Katie said...

I always want to do things. I try and compose great master pieces but they never sound good . . . I want talent in some things that I have no talent in. And it ends up that my talent appears to lie in the thing I struggle with most . . .

Dorothy said...

Growing up sucks. I'm just going to say that now and get it out.





when we were little kids, we were Mozarts in our heads. there wasn't a barrier there. we could fly using wings instead of airplanes. we knew we were great dancers because mom said our dancing was beautiful.



I guess nowadays it's not so bad to pretend you're a little kid again. maybe that's how the geniuses do it. just never stop believing anything is possible.

Sarah said...

Talent lies in the thing I struggle with most...hm. thats a good one Katie. And really, I think I was meant to play music... I mean, God provided me with a guitar (for free) and everything... and I have all these song lyrics I write. I just have a hard time composing the music to go with them :-/



Hmm I'd never thought of that Verya... that could be a good reason!