You'll Make Something of Yourself.

Sometimes I just feel like giving up.
People like to claim I'll make something of myself; somehow be successful or whatever.
All I see are miserable jobs with even more miserable hours staring me in the face.

They say "start at the bottom and work your way up"
...Work my way up to what?
How do I work my way up to something when I have no goal in the first place?

Sure, I've had goals. Lots of them.
None of them are realistically possible in this little town where I live.
Don't get me wrong; I love my town.
There's just no opportunity here.

"If you go to college, you'll have a better chance at a decent job."
Yeah. A chance. That's not a guarantee.
Besides, all the colleges that I actually want to attend are too expensive.

"You could always get married", they say.
Sure. That sounds feasible.
I have an amazing boyfriend; Other than my younger brother,
Zach is absolutely my favorite person ever.

At least, sometimes that sounds feasible.
As long as I have a wonderful Reformed Baptist church family like the one here
I could be happy nearly anywhere, especially with him.
But as much as I wish I could be, I'm not cut out for big city life.
And that's where he's bound to live.

Would he even be happy in a church like mine anyways?
I'm never sure.
Some how not many people seem to be fans of our service style.
But I love it.

It would be nice if people could be encouraging in some form.
Every idea I have gets shot down...
"You can't go to school at Providence."
"You'd kill yourself going ANYWHERE in a large city. You barely navigate your town."
"You won't get a job you enjoy."
"You could never live on your own."

So great. Where does this leave me?
I guess I could live with my parents until they die.
Work at a job that sucks, since they need me to help pay the bills.
Yeah. I guess when people said "You'll make something of yourself",
They didn't necessarily say what. It is something, I guess.

2011

The Twins! ♥ :)

hmmmm... posting this as a test photo. Trying to help Anna figure out a photo posting issue. Plus I really like this picture, a lot. So there. :)

How Classic is That?

Ah, the typical story...

The boy meets a girl who he totally likes at first sight. They become friends and he gets up the nerve (or craziness?) to tell her he has a massive crush on her. The girl, sits with her mouth gaping open for a moment- this is it, right? Uh, not quite. She finally gathers her thoughts and successfully expresses her disinterest in the boy. Yet he is still her friend, and she feels bad having to hurt him. Over the next few months, they become closer though- not romantically so, but she does realize that he's turned out to be one of the best friends she's ever had. They hang out often, and she confides in him often about many things.

Meanwhile, another guy- who the girl happens to secretly have a crush on- begins making moves towards her. She's ecstatic and the two of them decide once she graduates high school that they'll start going out. It continues in this manner for months- until it strikes her that a relationship between them could never work in the long run. After much agonizing over it and consulting her best guy friend, she finally tells the guy "No. I can't do this."

But, as a song once said, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end". The girl soon begins feeling more and more excited for whenever the next time is she'd see her best friend. Seriously? Could it be she is falling for the same boy she'd turned down nearly a year before? Yup. "But of course I won't tell him", she says to herself, despite knowing as a fact that he still likes her.

Time goes by, faster and faster- before she knows it, the girl is graduating high school- as is her best friend. All her friends kept telling her that her and the boy would make the cutest couple, and she smiles. Several weeks after graduation, he once again tells her how he feels about her. But something is different this time- she's never felt happier in her life :) He talks to her and her parents, and guess what? The best friend is now her boyfriend.

And once more... Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

I wonder what this new beginning will bring?

:)