You'll Make Something of Yourself.

Sometimes I just feel like giving up.
People like to claim I'll make something of myself; somehow be successful or whatever.
All I see are miserable jobs with even more miserable hours staring me in the face.

They say "start at the bottom and work your way up"
...Work my way up to what?
How do I work my way up to something when I have no goal in the first place?

Sure, I've had goals. Lots of them.
None of them are realistically possible in this little town where I live.
Don't get me wrong; I love my town.
There's just no opportunity here.

"If you go to college, you'll have a better chance at a decent job."
Yeah. A chance. That's not a guarantee.
Besides, all the colleges that I actually want to attend are too expensive.

"You could always get married", they say.
Sure. That sounds feasible.
I have an amazing boyfriend; Other than my younger brother,
Zach is absolutely my favorite person ever.

At least, sometimes that sounds feasible.
As long as I have a wonderful Reformed Baptist church family like the one here
I could be happy nearly anywhere, especially with him.
But as much as I wish I could be, I'm not cut out for big city life.
And that's where he's bound to live.

Would he even be happy in a church like mine anyways?
I'm never sure.
Some how not many people seem to be fans of our service style.
But I love it.

It would be nice if people could be encouraging in some form.
Every idea I have gets shot down...
"You can't go to school at Providence."
"You'd kill yourself going ANYWHERE in a large city. You barely navigate your town."
"You won't get a job you enjoy."
"You could never live on your own."

So great. Where does this leave me?
I guess I could live with my parents until they die.
Work at a job that sucks, since they need me to help pay the bills.
Yeah. I guess when people said "You'll make something of yourself",
They didn't necessarily say what. It is something, I guess.

2011

The Twins! ♥ :)

hmmmm... posting this as a test photo. Trying to help Anna figure out a photo posting issue. Plus I really like this picture, a lot. So there. :)

How Classic is That?

Ah, the typical story...

The boy meets a girl who he totally likes at first sight. They become friends and he gets up the nerve (or craziness?) to tell her he has a massive crush on her. The girl, sits with her mouth gaping open for a moment- this is it, right? Uh, not quite. She finally gathers her thoughts and successfully expresses her disinterest in the boy. Yet he is still her friend, and she feels bad having to hurt him. Over the next few months, they become closer though- not romantically so, but she does realize that he's turned out to be one of the best friends she's ever had. They hang out often, and she confides in him often about many things.

Meanwhile, another guy- who the girl happens to secretly have a crush on- begins making moves towards her. She's ecstatic and the two of them decide once she graduates high school that they'll start going out. It continues in this manner for months- until it strikes her that a relationship between them could never work in the long run. After much agonizing over it and consulting her best guy friend, she finally tells the guy "No. I can't do this."

But, as a song once said, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end". The girl soon begins feeling more and more excited for whenever the next time is she'd see her best friend. Seriously? Could it be she is falling for the same boy she'd turned down nearly a year before? Yup. "But of course I won't tell him", she says to herself, despite knowing as a fact that he still likes her.

Time goes by, faster and faster- before she knows it, the girl is graduating high school- as is her best friend. All her friends kept telling her that her and the boy would make the cutest couple, and she smiles. Several weeks after graduation, he once again tells her how he feels about her. But something is different this time- she's never felt happier in her life :) He talks to her and her parents, and guess what? The best friend is now her boyfriend.

And once more... Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

I wonder what this new beginning will bring?

:)

I almost wrote a really depressing blog post. But of all people, Pastor Harris showed up on chat and said hi and completely got me off that track. Funny how God compels people who generally do not start the IM conversation to say hi to me when I'm brooding about stuff.

So I clicked off my blogger tab. But this song keeps going through my head, and I wanted to post it somewhere. It's too big to quote it all on my gmail status, so I'll put it here...


I made a habit of never making promises

That aren't easy to keep

And there you have it but now I'm making one

That is to keep you here with me



'Cause every second that goes by

I feel it's just a waste of time if I'm not with you



If home is where the heart is

Then my home is where you are

But it's getting, oh, so hard

To spend these days without my heart



So I'm taking you with me

Anywhere that I could ever want to be

For the rest of my life

I want you there with me



And if there ever comes a time

When I should have to leave

I hope you know

That I, I'm taking you with me



And so I'm trying to hold it all together

And make it through the day

When I'm just dying to drop it all and take your hand

So we can run away



From all the miles and the hours

That seem to endlessly devour

The time that I could be with you



If home is where the heart is

Then my home is where you are

But it's getting, oh, so hard

To spend these days without my heart



So I'm taking you with me

Anywhere that I could ever want to be

For the rest of my life

I want you there with me



And if there ever comes a time

When I should have to leave

I hope you know

That I, I'm taking you with me



Every second that goes by

Is one more second off my life

And it couldn't be more clear

I'm literally dying without you here



And every second that goes by

Is one more second off my life

And it couldn't be more clear

I'm dying without you here



Yeah, every second that goes by

Yeah, every second that goes by



So I'm taking you with me

Anywhere that I could ever want to be

For the rest of my life

I want you there with me



And if there ever comes a time

When I should have to leave

I hope you know

That I, I'm taking you with me
------------------------------------------------------

I miss you. I wish you'd come home and stay.

A rare post...whoaness!

Heh this blog is dying :P
But I am not.

I just turned 18 yesterday... an interesting thought.
Though so far the best things about 2011 are these:

*Ringing in the new year quieter than ever with the GRC crew-- we had no idea our noisemakers didn't make noise. LOL. horray for dollar store quality :P it provided many laughs.

*Really long late-night conversations with Dexter :)

*Custom Converse for my birthday :D I'm really amazed that Zach got those for me :) *happydance*

...and I'm sure many more awesome things are to come of this year! Happy 2011 to you!

What a night!

I haven't posted in forever. Again. haha.
But man, tonight = probably one of my teenage year's most interesting adventures.

Unfortunately I don't have a lot of time right now to write up a big descriptive post about it (and believe me, it would be perfect and I totally would do it if I could right now)

But lets just say that I'd never would have imagined tonight would involve walking through the dark creepy industrial section of Lewiston. With no adults. And my 14 year old brother on one side of me and my best friend, Zach (17) on the other. And no cell phones. haha yesssss.

I love my life. :)

Some Things Never Change (unlike identities)

First off, the below post still holds true to today.

On a lighter, 2nd note:
Yesterday Zach and I pulled absolutely the BEST prank I've ever had the pleasure of being involved in. We traded identities on Facebook for a day. It was SO fun. lol and a wee bit challenging too, I'll admit. But it was most amusing IMing mutual friends of ours trying to impersonate each other. It takes a lot of thought to impersonate a friend of the opposite gender. I mean seriously, not only do you have to try and determine what they'd talk about or how they'd respond to stuff, but also how you type back the responses (like do they always use proper punctuation on chat? do they not capitalize their I's? How many M's do they put for a "hmm"? Do they use a lot of chat smilies?). It's also interesting seeing how people respond to guys vs. girls on chat. Like our friend Caleb... he usually wouldn't tease Zach about baking him a pie or start a conversation with me off with "Behind you!! a ZOMBIE!!!" ... *laughs* but today he did. Unknowingly.

Final verdict: I am apparently better at being Zach than he is at being me. (but near the end of our prank he got better at talking like me). I even managed to fool his mom into thinking I was him! LOL!

So yes...there you have it, another day in the life!