Out of the tunnel & through the fog

It's funny some times how it's like we're in a fog, but we don't know it.

For like the past couple of weeks I'd been pretty down and the whole time my mind set seemed to be mostly all "why me?" thoughts. Just sitting alone in my room at night feeling sorry for myself... but now it's like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Or, well, actually more like the darkness of the tunnel I just came out of, really.

I finally feel like myself again...yep, same 'ol optimistic, cheery, happy-go-lucky Sarah that I nearly always am. Thinking back over the past few weeks there, it makes me wonder what the heck I was thinking and why. I mean seriously, I can just be so lame some times. When the fog lifts and I can see things clearly, I can realize just how stupid and selfish I can be sometimes. I mean seriously, it was pathetic. I was pathetic. Because really, I have nothing to complain about. If I ask the "why me?" question about anything it should be "Why me? What did I deserve to end up in such a good spot in life?", 'cause well, I am. When I get to thinking about it, I realize that I really have far more than I deserve. I certainly have done nothing to earn it all.

A totally cool family, a good house, all the little techie things that I've collected up that I enjoy so much, and I have the most amazingly awesome friends in the world <3

I guess it just takes the right comparison to make me realize some times. Especially after hearing my mom talking to the mom of this one friend of mine... They're living paycheck to paycheck pretty much and around the end of every month they can barely put food on the table some times. They've gotta go to the food bank and some times that place doesn't even have sufficient, what with all the other people who use it. They live in this appartment that only has about as much room as the upper & middle floors of my house together and they have a family of 6 (mom, dad, and 4 kids)! We're in a house that has quite a bit more room than theirs and it's just four of us. The mom and kids have to do two paper routes every week to be able to bring in enough cash to make ends meet.

After hearing stuff like that...especially about a good friend of mine... it makes me feel sort of guilty that I have so much and they have so little. It's stuff like this that tells me just how much I am blessed in life. I mean really, not every teenager has their own pocket pc.

But pray for Steph and her family. Maybe that her dad would get a pay raise or that he would find a job that would better support him and his family. That God will continiue to provide for them enough to be able to get by. That maybe...maybe they could come to my church. Or at least find a church. They are Christian, but when they first moved to the valley here a year ago and were looking for a church, then accidentally ended up getting into a wild throw-yourself-on-the-ground, jump up and down, crazy kind of church and ever since then their dad has been too stubborn and paranoid to try any more churches. So....yeah.