It's funny some times how it's like we're in a fog, but we don't know it.
For like the past couple of weeks I'd been pretty down and the whole time my mind set seemed to be mostly all "why me?" thoughts. Just sitting alone in my room at night feeling sorry for myself... but now it's like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Or, well, actually more like the darkness of the tunnel I just came out of, really.
I finally feel like myself again...yep, same 'ol optimistic, cheery, happy-go-lucky Sarah that I nearly always am. Thinking back over the past few weeks there, it makes me wonder what the heck I was thinking and why. I mean seriously, I can just be so lame some times. When the fog lifts and I can see things clearly, I can realize just how stupid and selfish I can be sometimes. I mean seriously, it was pathetic. I was pathetic. Because really, I have nothing to complain about. If I ask the "why me?" question about anything it should be "Why me? What did I deserve to end up in such a good spot in life?", 'cause well, I am. When I get to thinking about it, I realize that I really have far more than I deserve. I certainly have done nothing to earn it all.
A totally cool family, a good house, all the little techie things that I've collected up that I enjoy so much, and I have the most amazingly awesome friends in the world <3
I guess it just takes the right comparison to make me realize some times. Especially after hearing my mom talking to the mom of this one friend of mine... They're living paycheck to paycheck pretty much and around the end of every month they can barely put food on the table some times. They've gotta go to the food bank and some times that place doesn't even have sufficient, what with all the other people who use it. They live in this appartment that only has about as much room as the upper & middle floors of my house together and they have a family of 6 (mom, dad, and 4 kids)! We're in a house that has quite a bit more room than theirs and it's just four of us. The mom and kids have to do two paper routes every week to be able to bring in enough cash to make ends meet.
After hearing stuff like that...especially about a good friend of mine... it makes me feel sort of guilty that I have so much and they have so little. It's stuff like this that tells me just how much I am blessed in life. I mean really, not every teenager has their own pocket pc.
But pray for Steph and her family. Maybe that her dad would get a pay raise or that he would find a job that would better support him and his family. That God will continiue to provide for them enough to be able to get by. That maybe...maybe they could come to my church. Or at least find a church. They are Christian, but when they first moved to the valley here a year ago and were looking for a church, then accidentally ended up getting into a wild throw-yourself-on-the-ground, jump up and down, crazy kind of church and ever since then their dad has been too stubborn and paranoid to try any more churches. So....yeah.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Eruption.
Life is just so crazy. Some times I don't even understand myself...
Despite all the friends I've been able to see and the fun activities happening, I always end up feeling down. I guess some things just build up. I'm like a volcano waiting to go off... I can feel it bubbling up, waiting to be poured out, just waiting to cry out to anybody. Anybody who I feel will actually listen, that is. And there really aren't that many people who I feel I can really pour it all out to. (at any rate though, thanks Bo for being there and sitting through my rants...lol)
Between having all of my co-volunteers at the library move and be replaced by a boatload of strangers and a certain practical joke that I won't go into detail of, and the fact that there are certain friends whom I really wish I could talk to more but they've lately been rather unresponsive...eh, life.
But why am I letting things get my down so much? I don't know. It's like I can't control it any more... I've ignored my problems for so long that they've finally come back to bite me, to get that one last laugh. *sigh*
Despite all the friends I've been able to see and the fun activities happening, I always end up feeling down. I guess some things just build up. I'm like a volcano waiting to go off... I can feel it bubbling up, waiting to be poured out, just waiting to cry out to anybody. Anybody who I feel will actually listen, that is. And there really aren't that many people who I feel I can really pour it all out to. (at any rate though, thanks Bo for being there and sitting through my rants...lol)
Between having all of my co-volunteers at the library move and be replaced by a boatload of strangers and a certain practical joke that I won't go into detail of, and the fact that there are certain friends whom I really wish I could talk to more but they've lately been rather unresponsive...eh, life.
But why am I letting things get my down so much? I don't know. It's like I can't control it any more... I've ignored my problems for so long that they've finally come back to bite me, to get that one last laugh. *sigh*
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Long time, No write!
Ok, so I am straying for a moment here from my posts of camp... They seem to be coming quite few and far-between here. And yes, I do apologize for that.
Anyways............
This weekend I've been staying with the Rutlers- these people who go to my church. My parents are currently away in Cour 'D Alene this weekend, staying at the resort there and doing stuff at this marriage conference. Turns out they were the grand prize winners for a drawing and got free admission and board at this thing! Pretty cool, eh? They typically don't win anything.
So anyway, it's been pretty fun here, surprisingly. I wasn't so sure at first if I would have much fun or not, but Rob & Mimi are really nice and we've been having a good time. Yesterday they went shopping for a birthday gift for my pastor's wife and Nathaniel and I came along for the ride. That was awesome. We went to a couple antique shops and to The Diamond Shop. Sure, doesn't sound overly exciting, especially if you're a guy...but I really enjoyed it!
Let me tell you this: There is nothing like being downtown Lewiston during the holiday season. It is incredible. Especially The Diamond Shop. Yeah, yeah, it's the begining of November and I'm talking Christmas?? Yes. I am suddenly feeling very much in the Christmas spirit. But who wouldn't, after being in where I was? Downtown Lewiston is just simply...amazing. All the stores now have their Christmassy items in the shop windows and The Diamond Shop is all decked out with their 10 foot tall beautifully color-coordinated Christmas trees and all of the other trimmings. Just walking around in there makes me feel happy :-) Now I desperately have the urge to go back...with my camera.
The antique shops weren't all decked out, but those were rather fun as well. Or at least the 2nd one was. The first one was pretty boring because all they had was old furnature and it smelled weird. But the 2nd one had EVERYTHING! There was stuff all over to look at...millions of random objects from decades past. I especially love looking at all the funky antique jewlery. I just love stuff like that. The crazy long bright strands of beaded necklaces from the 60's and the shiney rhinestone necklaces. They are SO cool. In my opinion anyway. Some people are totally into the whole modern look and all of that, but I really like some of the old jewlery. I bought myself a long golden necklace with a giant heart pendant for 5 bucks. I duno why, I'm just highly attracted to necklaces that have ginormous pendants on them. I love 'em :)
Anywho, I hope I didn't loose you there in my whole reliving of antique shopping. haha. After we got back from doing that yesterday, we had dinner and then watched The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I've been told by the Boyds time and time again that I MUST see that movie. Well, you guys can all rest hapily now because I have. And I absolutely loved it. That was a terrific movie!! Just as good as the books, I'd say. And being a girl, well, I've got to throw my opinion in here and say that I thought that Peter was so totally cute.... ;) lol
Today I awoke and got up around 8:30 and an hour later my brother and I headed off to help decorate Locomotive Park- a long time tradition of Lewiston, Idaho. Every year volunteers come and help decorate that place with lights...every tree is all covered and by the time it's all done and they light the park up on the first weekend of December...oh my gosh it is so AMAZING! There is simply no other way to describe it. It is so fun to go there every year on opening night where there are hundreds of people gathered there taking in the sights ... Especially when you know that you were oneo f the people who helped make it happen.
We stayed around up there from 9:45 until around 12:30...though we actually only helped out until noon. After that they served us all lunch and then we just hung out until my ride came. It was a load of fun though- I met up with my friend Dwight and his family. I've been enjoying every moment I've been able to spend with them and taking every opportunity to see them. They are moving this monday...it's so sad :( Dwight and I have worked side by side at the library for the past three years. I can hardly bare to see them leave to Wisconsin, knowing that I may not ever see him again. Sure, we have email, but that is nothing compared to the fun we have in person...we are constantly teasing eachother and he always loves to make crazy sarcastic remarks. Things like that just aren't as funny when they're merely words on a screen. *sigh*
Anyways, we worked for about an hour and then my friend Ian arrived! How fun! So we let him join our group and I introduced him to everyone because he'd never met Dwight and his family. After work and lunch, the Krauses (Dwight's family and him) left. So Ian and my brother and I fooled around for like a half hour or 45 minutes until Mimi showed up with the car to take us home. We had a real fun time... I brought my camera along and we took pictures of eachother on the locomotive of Locomotive Park. You will probably be seeing those on my facebook some time soon here!
Other than that, there hasn't been a lot happening the rest of today. After we got home I took a shower 'cause I realized that sitting under that pine tree apparently was a mistake because I had a large splat of sap in my hair that I couldn't get out :-P Ick. Then Nathaniel and I watched The Shaggy Dog movie. Hehe I love that one. It's funny. And well...that pretty much sums up my weekend so far! The rest of the time has been spent here with me typing away as I listen to Christmas music play in the background that Mimi has on... :) ah yes, I do love it so much. I would say that is probably half the reason why I suddenly feel so ready for Christmas. Crazy the effect music has on us, isn't it?
Well, I think that I shall end my post here and go relax and listen (mayb even sing along!) to the lovely music and leave you to go about the rest of your day and do whatever it was you should have been doing but ignored to read my blog post (why thank you! I do appreciate what readership I have, even if it isn't very big).
Anyways............
This weekend I've been staying with the Rutlers- these people who go to my church. My parents are currently away in Cour 'D Alene this weekend, staying at the resort there and doing stuff at this marriage conference. Turns out they were the grand prize winners for a drawing and got free admission and board at this thing! Pretty cool, eh? They typically don't win anything.
So anyway, it's been pretty fun here, surprisingly. I wasn't so sure at first if I would have much fun or not, but Rob & Mimi are really nice and we've been having a good time. Yesterday they went shopping for a birthday gift for my pastor's wife and Nathaniel and I came along for the ride. That was awesome. We went to a couple antique shops and to The Diamond Shop. Sure, doesn't sound overly exciting, especially if you're a guy...but I really enjoyed it!
Let me tell you this: There is nothing like being downtown Lewiston during the holiday season. It is incredible. Especially The Diamond Shop. Yeah, yeah, it's the begining of November and I'm talking Christmas?? Yes. I am suddenly feeling very much in the Christmas spirit. But who wouldn't, after being in where I was? Downtown Lewiston is just simply...amazing. All the stores now have their Christmassy items in the shop windows and The Diamond Shop is all decked out with their 10 foot tall beautifully color-coordinated Christmas trees and all of the other trimmings. Just walking around in there makes me feel happy :-) Now I desperately have the urge to go back...with my camera.
The antique shops weren't all decked out, but those were rather fun as well. Or at least the 2nd one was. The first one was pretty boring because all they had was old furnature and it smelled weird. But the 2nd one had EVERYTHING! There was stuff all over to look at...millions of random objects from decades past. I especially love looking at all the funky antique jewlery. I just love stuff like that. The crazy long bright strands of beaded necklaces from the 60's and the shiney rhinestone necklaces. They are SO cool. In my opinion anyway. Some people are totally into the whole modern look and all of that, but I really like some of the old jewlery. I bought myself a long golden necklace with a giant heart pendant for 5 bucks. I duno why, I'm just highly attracted to necklaces that have ginormous pendants on them. I love 'em :)
Anywho, I hope I didn't loose you there in my whole reliving of antique shopping. haha. After we got back from doing that yesterday, we had dinner and then watched The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. I've been told by the Boyds time and time again that I MUST see that movie. Well, you guys can all rest hapily now because I have. And I absolutely loved it. That was a terrific movie!! Just as good as the books, I'd say. And being a girl, well, I've got to throw my opinion in here and say that I thought that Peter was so totally cute.... ;) lol
Today I awoke and got up around 8:30 and an hour later my brother and I headed off to help decorate Locomotive Park- a long time tradition of Lewiston, Idaho. Every year volunteers come and help decorate that place with lights...every tree is all covered and by the time it's all done and they light the park up on the first weekend of December...oh my gosh it is so AMAZING! There is simply no other way to describe it. It is so fun to go there every year on opening night where there are hundreds of people gathered there taking in the sights ... Especially when you know that you were oneo f the people who helped make it happen.
We stayed around up there from 9:45 until around 12:30...though we actually only helped out until noon. After that they served us all lunch and then we just hung out until my ride came. It was a load of fun though- I met up with my friend Dwight and his family. I've been enjoying every moment I've been able to spend with them and taking every opportunity to see them. They are moving this monday...it's so sad :( Dwight and I have worked side by side at the library for the past three years. I can hardly bare to see them leave to Wisconsin, knowing that I may not ever see him again. Sure, we have email, but that is nothing compared to the fun we have in person...we are constantly teasing eachother and he always loves to make crazy sarcastic remarks. Things like that just aren't as funny when they're merely words on a screen. *sigh*
Anyways, we worked for about an hour and then my friend Ian arrived! How fun! So we let him join our group and I introduced him to everyone because he'd never met Dwight and his family. After work and lunch, the Krauses (Dwight's family and him) left. So Ian and my brother and I fooled around for like a half hour or 45 minutes until Mimi showed up with the car to take us home. We had a real fun time... I brought my camera along and we took pictures of eachother on the locomotive of Locomotive Park. You will probably be seeing those on my facebook some time soon here!
Other than that, there hasn't been a lot happening the rest of today. After we got home I took a shower 'cause I realized that sitting under that pine tree apparently was a mistake because I had a large splat of sap in my hair that I couldn't get out :-P Ick. Then Nathaniel and I watched The Shaggy Dog movie. Hehe I love that one. It's funny. And well...that pretty much sums up my weekend so far! The rest of the time has been spent here with me typing away as I listen to Christmas music play in the background that Mimi has on... :) ah yes, I do love it so much. I would say that is probably half the reason why I suddenly feel so ready for Christmas. Crazy the effect music has on us, isn't it?
Well, I think that I shall end my post here and go relax and listen (mayb even sing along!) to the lovely music and leave you to go about the rest of your day and do whatever it was you should have been doing but ignored to read my blog post (why thank you! I do appreciate what readership I have, even if it isn't very big).
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