Well maybe the third time's a charm- I guess we'll soon find out, won't we? This is the third time I've sat down to try and write this blog post...haha ridiculous, no? The first time was yesterday and I got distracted when Dwight told me I should go hear the day's Adventures in Odyssey episode. Then earlier I tried to sit down and write and Stephanie called me after I wrote the first three sentences XD
Oi, crazy past week! Sunday I went to GRC's church picnic... Intended to be at the baptism that was to take place prior to the food, but there was a bit of a problem; we show up at the intrance of Hell's Gate State Park only to find that the lady in the booth wants to charge us 4$ just for my 'rents to drive me down to the beach picnic spot so I could meet the group. Well, they don't want to pay 4$, so they just dropped me off by the gate and I had to run about a mile (in flip flops!) to get myself there...and by the time I showed up the baptism had finished =P -BUT- I did still get to see Raeshelle Calvin, for which I was exceedingly happy. Not only that, but I was surprised by Em, who happened to be there as well! That was certainly fun =)
As for the rest of the week?
Monday= Drive Thru History co-op with Jake, Ian, & Katherine + School + Family movie night.
Tuesday= School, learning to play tennis, & dropping off/finishing making fair entries (which is a
lot more of an ordeal than it sounds)
Wednesday=School all morning, Library work all afternoon, & youth group all evening.
Thursday= School... and...hm. something. I forget. Huh. *ponders* Oh yeah! Spent half the afternoon filming part of an episode of my upcoming random little youtube mini-series. That's right...lol.
Friday= Hanging with friends at the fair from 10 'till 2 (YAY!), Sudden unexpected hiking trip at Field Springs with Laurel & Pastors Christianson & McKinley + dinner at Fizzari's from 4:30 'till 8:00.
Saturday=All morning bike trip with Laurel to Downtown Lewiston & getting extremely interesting & entertaining historical stories of Lewiston history and bits of local ghost stories from a guy who owns an antique shop, hour long nap, chores... oh and a self destruct mission =P pain.
Ohhhh yeah. And in between everything, random hour-and-a-half long phone conversations with Stephanie and hour longer's with Laurel. And chat conversations with various friends =) Oh, and finding time to read LOTR 'n attempt to help dad fix the TV...and filling out fair entry forms... haha. Yup. This would be the condensed version of my week ;)
Now I bid you all adieu; in 15 minutes I need to head off to Lewiston to collect my winnings and entries from the fair!
Enjoy the remainder of your day =)
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
The Truth Hurts *wham!*
Man. Lately between church and my home ec curriculum and well... other stuff too, I'm learning. Learning things the hard way really. Why is it sometimes the hard way is the best way that a lesson is taught?
In church yesterday the sermon had to do with how we as humans are constantly expecting too much of life and of the people around us and not often enough comparing our problems in life to what glory there will be in the end. Boy, is that ever true. I've been realizing more and more lately stuff like that. Stuff that I do without even thinking. And I've definitely expected too much of some people.
Another thing I'm realizing more is that I SO need to think before I speak. *rams head repeatedly on desk* Sure, I have great friends and family who in the end always forgive me for saying or doing stupid stuff. But what if there ever comes a time when that doesn't happen? You never know. And in my home ec curriculum I was reading a lesson today that talked about conversation, and how we need to be "Quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath". Geez. That hit me over the head like a mallet. Cause just this weekend I was really horrible with that :-/ Now I'm just sitting here feeling really bad for things said and hoping the other person will accept my appologies, despite me delivering them later than I probably should have. Sometimes it takes a little time for me to sit back and think and realize where I've screwed up. And in this case I did a lot.
I swear, I'm going to try and be way more careful from now on. Learning things the hard way really sucks... but its also one of the most effective means of learning.
In church yesterday the sermon had to do with how we as humans are constantly expecting too much of life and of the people around us and not often enough comparing our problems in life to what glory there will be in the end. Boy, is that ever true. I've been realizing more and more lately stuff like that. Stuff that I do without even thinking. And I've definitely expected too much of some people.
Another thing I'm realizing more is that I SO need to think before I speak. *rams head repeatedly on desk* Sure, I have great friends and family who in the end always forgive me for saying or doing stupid stuff. But what if there ever comes a time when that doesn't happen? You never know. And in my home ec curriculum I was reading a lesson today that talked about conversation, and how we need to be "Quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to wrath". Geez. That hit me over the head like a mallet. Cause just this weekend I was really horrible with that :-/ Now I'm just sitting here feeling really bad for things said and hoping the other person will accept my appologies, despite me delivering them later than I probably should have. Sometimes it takes a little time for me to sit back and think and realize where I've screwed up. And in this case I did a lot.
I swear, I'm going to try and be way more careful from now on. Learning things the hard way really sucks... but its also one of the most effective means of learning.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Why yes, this could be your fault.
I'm generally an extremely good tempered person and it takes a lot to make me mad.
Having anger that causes me to shake cause I'm so fed up? Wow. Well this is certainly new.
Will it ever get resolved? Who knows? Hopefully someday soon. But as for the moment I would REALLY like to go take a long bike ride. Unfortunately its too dark to be allowed to do such a thing, so instead I'm voicing it all via a chat conversation and this blog post.
So its true what Bo's blog used to say: If you keep swallowing you just end up regurgitating.
LIFE SO FREAKIN' STINKS AND THEN YOU DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight I regurgitate. Because I literally can't hold it in any more.
"Goodbye, cruel world."
Having anger that causes me to shake cause I'm so fed up? Wow. Well this is certainly new.
Will it ever get resolved? Who knows? Hopefully someday soon. But as for the moment I would REALLY like to go take a long bike ride. Unfortunately its too dark to be allowed to do such a thing, so instead I'm voicing it all via a chat conversation and this blog post.
So its true what Bo's blog used to say: If you keep swallowing you just end up regurgitating.
LIFE SO FREAKIN' STINKS AND THEN YOU DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight I regurgitate. Because I literally can't hold it in any more.
"Goodbye, cruel world."
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Moonlight Scerenade...or renegade :-)
Tonight's the night. You've spent the past couple of hours reading the third what has quickly become one of your favorite series- action, fantasy, horror-gotta love The Gatekeepers...oh yeah, all the while sipping a thermos mug fulla coffee. Coffee at 10:00 at night. Some would consider this rediculous, but reaping the benefits of caffeine is your intention of the night. Finally, at last, everybody is in bed asleep and the clock reads 11:30.
Preparation time. Sweeping silently as you can through your room in the dark, you gather up the four key items you need for this adventure. Blanket. Flashlight. Binoculars. Flipflops. Check yes. And just as an extra precaution, you rearrange some pillows, blankets and a stuffed dalmation to keep the bed seemingly occupied. Then you're off- tiptoeing down the stairs, trying your best to avoid the creaky spots in the floor...all's going well, then boom. You have to stop and catch your breath... isn't it just so annoying when you take one giant step thinking you're at the bottom of the staircase and it turns out there were two more steps below you and you take a giant drop? Oi. But you didn't fall or make too big of a racket, so you're all good. Now you're on the main floor of your tri-level house, sneaking through the living room and into the kitchen, where the sliding glass door to the back yard is located. So far undetected, you take a deep breath and unlock the door, sliding it slowly open...realizing that it squeaks a lot more than you previously thought. Thankfully everybody but you sleeps with their door shut and is unlikely to have heard a thing. Whew! Once you're on the back porch, you let out a sigh of relief, thinking that the hardest part is over. Unfortunately you're wrong. After getting the door to the screened-in area of the porch open, you're out! In your excitement you tear accross to the other end of the yard, momentarily forgetting about the motion-sensing light. Well that moment of memory lapse doesn't last long- the light flashes on. NOOOO!! Not wanting to be taken as a burgaler by the neighbors, you run up the hill and into the garden area, where you can hide under the pear tree until the light goes out. Of course, it's just your luck- the light wakes up DJ, your family's (rather obnoxious) outdoor dog, who starts whinning because there's somebody out there to play with but he isn't being let out of his crate as he feels he should. Ugh.
You're not sure how long, but probably near 10 minutes later, the light at last goes out and DJ is begining to calm down. Finally. Treading lightly as you can back down the hill, the crunching of leaves and bark chips beneath your feet seems to be magnified, but at last you get back to the grassy part of the yard, and make your way to the side of the house where the roof is lowest. There, you climb onto the fence, and from there to the roof. Victory, at last!
And ya know what? It was actually worth the trouble. The temperature was perfect... comfortably warm with an occasional cool breze whirling around your shoulders. And the stars...wow. Lying down on your back, looking up at the sky. It feels sooo nice. Kicking back and relaxing under a sky full of stars and an ambience of far away cars and the sound of crickets, you pull up your binoculars and get them in focus. One word: WOW. It's amazing how many more stars you can see with those things! It's spectacular. Exactly how you'd imagined it would be, out on your roof at midnight. All your problems seem to dissapear, as you look up at the sky. Lying there staring up at the sky, you really see things in a good perspective. It's like a visual aid, and you suddenly realize just how big God is and how little you are. Sometimes we feel like we can see it all, like we're absolutely amazing; really, we're like ants on a table top- wandering around this vast landscape figuring things out as we go along, but hardly knowing anything at all. And then there's God- up there above it all, watching us run around thinking we know so much, when really only He knows the big picture. When there are so many galaxies and stars in the sky, when the sky seems so huge and amazing, just how much more incredible must the One be who MADE all that?? Seriously!
I think I need to go out at night more often. I need these reminders, especially when life gets complicated. When I remember that everything happens for a reason, that God has it all planned out start to finish and that all things work together for good to those who love Him, life seems a lot less scary. I know I'll make it through, but I always can use the reminder that I'm not making it through on my own.
Preparation time. Sweeping silently as you can through your room in the dark, you gather up the four key items you need for this adventure. Blanket. Flashlight. Binoculars. Flipflops. Check yes. And just as an extra precaution, you rearrange some pillows, blankets and a stuffed dalmation to keep the bed seemingly occupied. Then you're off- tiptoeing down the stairs, trying your best to avoid the creaky spots in the floor...all's going well, then boom. You have to stop and catch your breath... isn't it just so annoying when you take one giant step thinking you're at the bottom of the staircase and it turns out there were two more steps below you and you take a giant drop? Oi. But you didn't fall or make too big of a racket, so you're all good. Now you're on the main floor of your tri-level house, sneaking through the living room and into the kitchen, where the sliding glass door to the back yard is located. So far undetected, you take a deep breath and unlock the door, sliding it slowly open...realizing that it squeaks a lot more than you previously thought. Thankfully everybody but you sleeps with their door shut and is unlikely to have heard a thing. Whew! Once you're on the back porch, you let out a sigh of relief, thinking that the hardest part is over. Unfortunately you're wrong. After getting the door to the screened-in area of the porch open, you're out! In your excitement you tear accross to the other end of the yard, momentarily forgetting about the motion-sensing light. Well that moment of memory lapse doesn't last long- the light flashes on. NOOOO!! Not wanting to be taken as a burgaler by the neighbors, you run up the hill and into the garden area, where you can hide under the pear tree until the light goes out. Of course, it's just your luck- the light wakes up DJ, your family's (rather obnoxious) outdoor dog, who starts whinning because there's somebody out there to play with but he isn't being let out of his crate as he feels he should. Ugh.
You're not sure how long, but probably near 10 minutes later, the light at last goes out and DJ is begining to calm down. Finally. Treading lightly as you can back down the hill, the crunching of leaves and bark chips beneath your feet seems to be magnified, but at last you get back to the grassy part of the yard, and make your way to the side of the house where the roof is lowest. There, you climb onto the fence, and from there to the roof. Victory, at last!
And ya know what? It was actually worth the trouble. The temperature was perfect... comfortably warm with an occasional cool breze whirling around your shoulders. And the stars...wow. Lying down on your back, looking up at the sky. It feels sooo nice. Kicking back and relaxing under a sky full of stars and an ambience of far away cars and the sound of crickets, you pull up your binoculars and get them in focus. One word: WOW. It's amazing how many more stars you can see with those things! It's spectacular. Exactly how you'd imagined it would be, out on your roof at midnight. All your problems seem to dissapear, as you look up at the sky. Lying there staring up at the sky, you really see things in a good perspective. It's like a visual aid, and you suddenly realize just how big God is and how little you are. Sometimes we feel like we can see it all, like we're absolutely amazing; really, we're like ants on a table top- wandering around this vast landscape figuring things out as we go along, but hardly knowing anything at all. And then there's God- up there above it all, watching us run around thinking we know so much, when really only He knows the big picture. When there are so many galaxies and stars in the sky, when the sky seems so huge and amazing, just how much more incredible must the One be who MADE all that?? Seriously!
I think I need to go out at night more often. I need these reminders, especially when life gets complicated. When I remember that everything happens for a reason, that God has it all planned out start to finish and that all things work together for good to those who love Him, life seems a lot less scary. I know I'll make it through, but I always can use the reminder that I'm not making it through on my own.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Well, I thought I was Fine
------------> It's weird how songs suddenly make you realize things.
I'm getting over you
I'm getting over you most of the time
If I say it like I mean it
Then maybe I'll believe it like it's true
I'm getting over you
-------------------------------> sometimes music sums life up too good.
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
---------------> So I thought I was fine.
--------> I seemed okay. I felt pretty good.
----> Now, once again I'm merely ok only to the observers.
*sigh* This is stupid. I shouldn't be down. I refuse to be; it's rediculous.
...not that I can stop myself, it seems. And the few people who I actually can really talk to are always too busy any more.....
I'm getting over you
I'm getting over you most of the time
If I say it like I mean it
Then maybe I'll believe it like it's true
I'm getting over you
-------------------------------> sometimes music sums life up too good.
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
---------------> So I thought I was fine.
--------> I seemed okay. I felt pretty good.
----> Now, once again I'm merely ok only to the observers.
*sigh* This is stupid. I shouldn't be down. I refuse to be; it's rediculous.
...not that I can stop myself, it seems. And the few people who I actually can really talk to are always too busy any more.....
Monday, September 7, 2009
The Untitled Song
It's rather simple and has no lyrics (as of yet. That may or may not change one day), but it's the first song I've ever written that I've actually recorded :-) I made it the week before camp, but just now got around to uploading it. lol. (For those of you whom I sent an mp3 to, this is a slightly updated version. Not changed by much, but I pulled an instrument out that I thought ended up sounding a bit off).
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Perhaps Happy Endings Arent a Myth
And as the day fades away in it's last minutes, I know I've done the right thing and that everything is ok. It happened better than I would have imagined, and not only did I not loose a friend but I've gained back one I thought I'd lost for good.
This storm is finally over, and I bid you all good night :-)
This storm is finally over, and I bid you all good night :-)
You could have told me sooner
Pray for me.
I had a horrible migrane headache last night. I feel weak and half sick this morning.
and not just that.
I did possibly the most idiotic thing I have ever done. I thought letting the truth be known was what I needed to do. In a way its good. I now know the other half of the truth and am not running on mere speculation. Yet on the other hand, I'm deeply affraid now that because of my stupidity I've lost somebody who has been an extremely good friend to me. And that is probably why I'm sick. Who knew there was so much truth in the phrase worried sick?
Pray I feel better. Pray I havent lost a friend and that we'll get to talk again soon. And pray that in some way all of this will turn out good and in some way possibly strengthen my relationship with God.
Thanks. Now back to doing school in bed...
I had a horrible migrane headache last night. I feel weak and half sick this morning.
and not just that.
I did possibly the most idiotic thing I have ever done. I thought letting the truth be known was what I needed to do. In a way its good. I now know the other half of the truth and am not running on mere speculation. Yet on the other hand, I'm deeply affraid now that because of my stupidity I've lost somebody who has been an extremely good friend to me. And that is probably why I'm sick. Who knew there was so much truth in the phrase worried sick?
Pray I feel better. Pray I havent lost a friend and that we'll get to talk again soon. And pray that in some way all of this will turn out good and in some way possibly strengthen my relationship with God.
Thanks. Now back to doing school in bed...
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